(Loud Noise)

Me: What are you doing over there?

Ben(roommate): Throwing stuff away.

Me: Is that your advent calendar?

Ben: Well, I already ate all the chocolate in it, so it's pretty useless now.

I never knew going for a walk in the snow could be so invigorating, especially at midnight when you need to be up in less than eight hours to do a spanish final.  At least we made some good snow angels.  Why is it that minorities can make jokes about themselves, but if I do it, I'm told I'd be pushed in the river if there weren't a guardrail?  I'd never met anyone who'd never seen a beaver in the wild before tonight.  Some people are deprived, it doesn't seem fair, really.  Finals week is stupid.  They want everyone to be quiet for 22 hours a day.  All it does is make people think about the fact that they have to take finals.  I've finally started making an effort to get to know people on my floor, and now I'm moving out.  Oh well, I'll come back and visit.  I promised Alefiyah (I think I spelled that right) that I'd make a snowman with her.  And of course Smude.  But I need to move to St. Paul or I'm going to go insane trying to be Social Chair for FarmHouse.  It's incredibly difficult to schedule events from the other side of campus.  And there are no dart boards in Minneapolis that I've found yet.  I read Courntey's away message and I'm confused.  It says that O's are hugs and X's are kisses.  I think it's the other way around.  Help.

Magee, are you going to enjoy the joke like everyone else, or just point out what you perceive to be flaws in my post?  You should be glad I posted anything at all.  Because of your comment, I seriously considered not writing on here for another four months.  Honestly, we're trying to have a good time and then you have to come rain on our parade.  And who doesn't know what The Onion is?  For the record, I'm drinking orange Fanta in the picture.  And Jesse, since you asked so nicely, here's one for you:

Taurus- Your long held belief that the pen is mightier than the sword will be put to the test this week when you sign up for a combination fencing/calligraphy class co-taught by an angry Spaniard and a weary sensei. 

LEO- Any hesitation you have in summoning the underworld demon Astaroth will be more than cancelled out by your eagerness to sacrifice a goat. 

How eerily true.  The Onion is far and away the greatest source of horoscopes ever.

"You do realize I'm falling in love with you..."

"Yeaaahh...it's probably not a good idea."